The Price of Living

Everything else was irrelevant. By the river Valencia where weed flowers blossomed full and fragrant grass hills grow untended, two souls shared their love not with inhibitions of reason and civility of structured society, but with a wildness youth was intended for--- intended for warm, humid, evenings like this, blanketed by starlit, cloudless skies lighted only by the moon’s full, pale glow. Without a care for the world outside, it is youth’s sole purpose of being--- and for long, acute evenings of goodbye, it was intended for also.

“Tell me once again, Fernando.”

“You are as lovely as the night sky.”

“More, please.”

“Somebody might hear us.”

“Let them, I want them to hear how beautiful I am.”

As such, everything else faded into the background. Fernando struggled for words as her smile teased him to a dimension of herself. He saw everything graceful, as if beauty poured forth from some ethereal plane he could not reach no matter what he does in his power, except when she’s near, like this--- her long, black hair fading imperceptibly towards her full hips; her brown eyes forever gazing at his soul never once blinking; and the warmth of her breath slowly embracing him, begging him to only listen to the beating of their hearts. If love and lust be shown in an infinite struggle inside a man, it is not tonight. For tonight love wins. Love always wins.

“I love only you,” said Fernando.

“I know.”

“I made a poem for you.”

“Not the one that started: ‘For all things fade like clouds’”

“No, this one’s different.”

“Really!? Just for me?”

“For you only.”

Fernando smiled and brought out the dry leaves where he wrote the words that afternoon, while she was busy dancing on the rocky bed of the clear river waters. He closed his eyes, summoning all his will, as if to infuse his phrases with his strength necessary to make a woman’s heart listen to his plea--- a plea his own heart has been aching since the day they met.

“The Lady by the Pond”

“The Lady…”

“Sssh…listen.”

Embraced, they slept with fragrant willows by,

On hammocks, the autumn breeze gently rocking;

Prairie birds’ choir swayed the rusty leaves fly,

Slowly blanket a lover’s vow in silent whispering.

And they danced Infinite, for time comes untouched;

Untold emotions dropping slow on lips wanting.

With the lapping waters attuned, moontide caressed;

Two world’s love oblivious of a season’s parting.

But at heartbeat's end, as the night cricket sings,

The Lady walks to where sweet wild lilies bloom’d.

Under the pale light shone the veil, soon forgotten;

Droplets of tears fell—let the pond calm once again.

They both fell silent for what seemed liked endless hours, feeling nothing but their tight embrace, their warmth, unable to let go of each other lest the coming cold dawn take everything precious from them. For some time, like the forming droplets of morning dew, pieces began to fall, crumbling beneath their feet, wrapping thorns on kindred spirits each fighting the inevitability of each other’s fate. The seasons have their own plans.

“Let’s elope,” Fernando said suddenly, too suddenly, breaking silence.

“What!?”

“Let’s disappear. Me and you.”

“Fernando…I…”

“Let’s live in a cabin by the woods. Near a lake. Peaceful and free from the cares of this world.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do. We’ll find happiness there. I promise.”

“Fernando, you know I’m going to college.”

“I know S_____, but things will never be the same.”

“No, it will never be.”

“Everything will never be this way again.”

He looked deeply into her eyes, brown and tear-stained like pearl drops glinting with the faint light behind dark blue mountains. Fernando could almost feel the tangible pain of destiny trying to pull apart two inseparable beings unbounded by time and place. He could almost see her life ahead--- one full of hope and security--- and the life he’s trying to make her choose--- fading instantly with the passing few, precious minutes.

S_____ reached out to him, and kissed him long on the lips, savoring what is left before memories take over, becoming misty sweetness of a faraway universe one looks back, never to cross paths again. He understood. They both understood the price they were paying.

He could do nothing but watch her walk towards the raft, her hair swaying with the salmon-pink clouds coming to life, to the other side of the river. His vision blurred for a while as he stared at her sail towards the sunrise, never looking back to their tree, the place where they shared their most intimate wholeness.

“I’ll always see you during summer,” S____ shouted, finally smiling.

“I’ll always write you poems!”